Ravane Williams
Mrs. S. Aiken
English 1101 – Descriptive
September 3, 2009
First Day on the Job
First Day on the Job consists of receiving uniforms, work schedules, tour of the
job, work techniques, meeting employees, greeting customers, impressing your boss, and
building confidence. Your first day can be quite overwhelming, you have many thoughts going through your head and wondering are you going to meet the standards. You arrive ten minutes early to take care of last minute details, your jitters are really acting up now but you are quickly calmed when you realize that the first day doesn’t seem as bad until after the tour of your workplace and some work techniques that will be required. You have meet your fellow co-workers, some are friendly and willing to share the workload and as for others, they are possessive of their positions and may have fear of a new person coming in taking over their job and doing better than them. Your biggest challenge is when it comes to serving the customer, you are a quiet, timid, and shy person but you will overcome all those after a couple of days on the job. All customers approach isn’t the same, there will be some who can detect your nervousness and ask are you new and there will be other observers who know and will give you a hard time anyway. You want to impress your boss or supervisor by showing you are a fast learner, you have good confidence, and most importantly you love your job.
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I believe that the purpose of your essay is to inform the general public about a first day on the job. You describe things they may feel or encounter. The purpose is maintained throughout your essay.
ReplyDeleteThe purpose is maintained, but needs to be MUCH MORE FULLY DEVELOPED. I believe your commentator did an excellent job in her task, but needs more of your writing to see if it is maintained. This is a short writing, rather than an essay. Sometimes it is difficult to start--keep working on it and hopefully there will be more commentary.
ReplyDeleteAs far as audience goes, I think this is pretty broad. Lots of people could connect with this and understand it. Perhaps it could be fleshed out a little more. I think you know who you're writing for, but it couldn't hurt to give a little bit more of your experience of your actual first day on a job, rather than the general experience of a first day, maybe.
ReplyDeletei felt i got your purpose. this is a very clear paper and enjoyable to read. the sentence structure was on key and your paper flowed well.
ReplyDelete